


i'll break my back so you can feel like someone's on your side.

by luxuryproblems



Category: Manchester By The Sea (2016)
Genre: Bisexual Male Character, Coming Out, Gen, yall know i had to do it to em
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-06 16:51:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14061252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luxuryproblems/pseuds/luxuryproblems
Summary: Patrick admits something he's held inside for a few years to an understanding Lee.





	i'll break my back so you can feel like someone's on your side.

**Author's Note:**

> hey yall patrick's bi and if u disagree u dont have to read this xo title from growing pains by neck deep!!!!!!! 
> 
> other quick notes lee's gonna be a little out of character kinda??? but. it'll work i hope kind of but whatever i like how this came out. shoutout to lucashedgeshq on instagram for uh existing and giving me that sweet sweet content. (also if u want my spam account on ig is irlmargesimpson and my real account is phaggot.spencer)

Patrick can't help but feel trapped in his own mind. The distance between him and his uncle is a lot, especially right after what happened with his dad, and he's not sure how to bridge the gap. He's not sure if he even wants to yet.

He smokes a blunt in his bedroom for courage.

He and Lee are sitting in the living room, Lee on the recliner and Patrick half stretched out on the sofa, watching a hockey game on television. Lee is five or six or more beers into the night when one of the teams is on a power play in the middle of the second period. Lee's eyes are practically closed, and his breathing regulates slowly, and Patrick knows he's gonna be asleep by the third period. He wants to metaphorically reach out and pull them closer, but he doesn't know how to.

Should he talk to him like he's his dad? Would that freak him out and push them further apart? 

Patrick looks over at Lee, who is seems to be awake still. "Do you want another beer?" Patrick asks him. Lee murmurs something in response, something that sounds like a no but could also be taken as a yes. He might not even be that drunk, Lee holds his liquor well, he just mumbles a lot. Patrick gets up anyway and goes into the kitchen. 

He takes a cup off the drying rack and fills it in the sink, taking a big, long drink from it to calm himself down. He finishes that glass, still feels shaky and nervous, so he drinks another glass. He knows he shouldn't just blurt out and say it but that's all that he feels like he can do. It's never going to come up in conversation, so it's just gonna linger until Patrick explodes. He might as well just bring it up today. It might be the weed making him shake like this, like it sometimes does, but he doesn't want to drink more water. 

He starts thinking about the realization of how he knew, then starts to think about if that is going to even come up. Patrick's liked and crushed on boys as long as he's liked and crushed on girls. He's had a boyfriend too, in ninth grade, named Jeffrey Carini, an out and proud gay boy with curly black hair. They weren't compatible romantically other than the fact that they both liked boys and Jeffrey could just tell that Patrick was into guys.

They had fun together. They'd go for dates that didn't cost money because they were two fourteen year olds who didn't have jobs and had no money to their names and sneak into school football games so they didn't have to pay the five dollar entry fee. They'd climb up and over the chain link fence and land just by the bleachers. That also became the year that Patrick broke his arm after falling on a large rock that had never been there before.

Jeffrey would come to Patrick's hockey games and basketball games and heckle him as a joke to get Patrick to be able to loosen up a little and laugh instead of stiffening up during a game. One heckle of "Chandler sucks dick!" ended with Jeffrey almost getting jumped by Patrick's friends and the coach having to call a time out so Patrick could get into the crowd and explain that it was a joke.

Patrick misses Jeffrey. They weren't compatible, but it was nice to kiss a boy and laugh with a boy.

The relationship was fun while it lasted, which was only about two months, but they continued to stay friends. Jeffrey would come to pick up Patrick at band practice when Lee couldn't, and he really appreciated that.

"You seem on edge," Lee tells Patrick when he walks in and hands him his beer. 

Patrick shrugs, "I've got a lot on my mind, with you tellin' me we gotta move, and my dad," Patrick sees this as a perfect opportunity to say it but then be able to cover it up, "...and I'm bisexual, and the band-" 

And just like that, it's out, he's out. A weight has been lifted off of his shoulders and he can kinda feel like he can sit up a little straighter, but at the same time he wants to curl into a ball and hide away from the world. He's not ashamed of it, not at all, he's just a little worried of how the world will react. 

"What'd you say?" Lee asks. He looks completely stone cold serious, which makes Patrick a little nervous.

He backtracks a little, "The band's been on my mind a lot, we've been having a lot of trouble with our drummer." He doesn't want to say it again. It took him too much courage to say it once and now he feels a little sick. He didn't think he'd every be able to have a heart to heart with his dad, someone he was really close to, about something like this, and now that he can't, he might as well try to come out to someone. Patrick feels like he's holding his breath. 

Lee gets up and moves from the recliner to the sofa. He seems completely sober to Patrick, but that's just because he's held his liquor very well for the past few years, he's kind of conditioned to it. "You can talk to me about anything, Patty," Lee says, and Patrick exhales. "So, what, you're into guys and girls or something?" Lee isn't trying to sound insensitive, he just doesn't want to say the wrong thing.

Patrick keeps a lot of his emotions built up, as most people in his family do, and as presented by the panic attack triggered by frozen chicken. He wants to open up more to the people he cares about, the people he loves, especially the one he's going to be living with. Patrick nods in response to Lee. 

There's a bit of awkward silence between them, before Lee reaches his arm around Patrick's back, pats him on the shoulder, almost as if to tell him he's proud of him, then gets up and moves back to Joe's recliner. Patrick blinks, and wonders why that took him so long.

"I'm on your side, Patty," Lee tells him, gesturing towards him with his beer, "You don't have to worry about any of that shit. I got your back."


End file.
